The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-04-26 10:55:12
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Ichiro Kishimi
- ISBN：176063073X
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
The Japanese phenomenon that teaches us the simple yet profound lessons required to liberate our real selves and find lasting happiness。
The Courage to be Disliked shows you how to unlock the power within yourself to become your best and truest self， change your future and find lasting happiness。 Using the theories of Alfred Adler， one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung， the authors explain how we are all free to determine our own future free of the shackles of past experiences， doubts and the expectations of others。 It’s a philosophy that’s profoundly liberating， allowing us to develop the courage to change， and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves。
The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance。 Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom。 Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English， so can you。
The Courage to be Disliked shows you how to unlock the power within yourself to become your best and truest self， change your future and find lasting happiness。 Using the theories of Alfred Adler， one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung， the authors explain how we are all free to determine our own future free of the shackles of past experiences， doubts and the expectations of others。 It’s a philosophy that’s profoundly liberating， allowing us to develop the courage to change， and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves。
The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance。 Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom。 Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English， so can you。
Reviews
Emre Gülarman
，
Uzmanı olmamakla beraber， bu kitap psikolojik bir çalışmadan ziyade bir felsefenin reklamı için yazılmış gibi görünüyor。 Kitapta Freudyen yaklaşımın insanın kendini kurban hissetmesi için bir bahane olduğundan ve hayatımızda yaşadığımız problemlerin temel kaynağının insani ilişkiler olduğundan bahsediliyor。 İnsanlarca sevilmemeye karşı cesaret gösterme ve kendini kabul etmenin önemi üzerine fikirler öne sürüyor。 Kitapta öne sürülen fikirlerinin birçoğuna katılıyorum。 Ancak sıklıkla karşılaştığım Uzmanı olmamakla beraber， bu kitap psikolojik bir çalışmadan ziyade bir felsefenin reklamı için yazılmış gibi görünüyor。 Kitapta Freudyen yaklaşımın insanın kendini kurban hissetmesi için bir bahane olduğundan ve hayatımızda yaşadığımız problemlerin temel kaynağının insani ilişkiler olduğundan bahsediliyor。 İnsanlarca sevilmemeye karşı cesaret gösterme ve kendini kabul etmenin önemi üzerine fikirler öne sürüyor。 Kitapta öne sürülen fikirlerinin birçoğuna katılıyorum。 Ancak sıklıkla karşılaştığım bi yanılgıya bence bu kitapta da düşülmüş。 O da mutluluğun kaynağını tek bir şema üzerinden formülize etmek。Genel olarak kitabı sevdim。 İnsanı düşündüren ve bazı ezberleri yıkan bir çalışma。 Ancak aşırı savunucusu olmak yerine kitaptaki bazı fikirlerin daha bütüncül bir yaklaşıma adapte edilmesi daha faydalı olur diye düşünüyorum。 Son olarak da kitaba daha iyi bir Türkçe isim seçilebilirmiş。 。。。more
Ei wai ie
，
Buku yang benar-benar 'daging' banget dengan gaya penulisan yang ringan。 Saya suka sekali bagaimana filsuf itu menjawab setiap pertanyaan dari anak muda yang。。。 Sepertinya jelmaan banyak orang， pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti 'apa itu kebahagiaan？'; 'kenapa aku bisa kesepian？'; 'apakah masa lalu dan masa depan itu berhubungan？'; dll— sangat relate dengan kehidupan。Buku ini menjadikan kita memandang hidup sebagai sesuatu yang sederhana。 Kita bisa memulainya dengan perasaan yakin dan percaya bahwa h Buku yang benar-benar 'daging' banget dengan gaya penulisan yang ringan。 Saya suka sekali bagaimana filsuf itu menjawab setiap pertanyaan dari anak muda yang。。。 Sepertinya jelmaan banyak orang， pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti 'apa itu kebahagiaan？'; 'kenapa aku bisa kesepian？'; 'apakah masa lalu dan masa depan itu berhubungan？'; dll— sangat relate dengan kehidupan。Buku ini menjadikan kita memandang hidup sebagai sesuatu yang sederhana。 Kita bisa memulainya dengan perasaan yakin dan percaya bahwa hidup itu memang begitu: sederhana。Saya juga belajar kalau hidup yang terus-menerus mencari pengakuan orang lain， dalam artian seseorang hidup untuk memenuhi ekspektasi orang lain， maka orang itu tidaklah menjalani hidup yang bebas。 Hidupnya tidaklah ditentukan oleh dirinya sendiri， tapi orang lain。"Keberanian untuk bahagia juga mencakup keberanian untuk tidak disukai。" 。。。more
Yuekun Liu
，
This book is a distillation of Adlerian psychology: 1） people， living in the here and now， are self-determined; 2） all problems are interpersonal relationship problems （e。g。， inferiority complex， power struggle， competition， intrude other's task， seek for recognization， etc）; 3） Happiness is the feeling of contribution and is built along with self-acceptance and confidence in others; 4） Live like you are dancing in the now， earnestly and conscientiously。 Overall， this book shows you the psycholo This book is a distillation of Adlerian psychology: 1） people， living in the here and now， are self-determined; 2） all problems are interpersonal relationship problems （e。g。， inferiority complex， power struggle， competition， intrude other's task， seek for recognization， etc）; 3） Happiness is the feeling of contribution and is built along with self-acceptance and confidence in others; 4） Live like you are dancing in the now， earnestly and conscientiously。 Overall， this book shows you the psychology of courage and the psychology of changing oneself。 Recommend to people who are curious about what Adlerian psychology is or how one can be happy。 。。。more
Sean
，
4，5
Antonio Pacetta
，
Bellissimi i contenuti del libro， espone i concetti in modo semplice e spesso riassume dubbi più che leciti grazie al suo formato di "discussione" tra due persone。 Immagino sia dovuto alla traduzione ma lo stile di scrittura è un po' strano， a volte non il più piacevole， ma non così tanto da renderlo fastidioso。Nel complesso un ottimo libro， veloce da leggere e che dà tanti spunti di riflessione e cambiamento。 Bellissimi i contenuti del libro， espone i concetti in modo semplice e spesso riassume dubbi più che leciti grazie al suo formato di "discussione" tra due persone。 Immagino sia dovuto alla traduzione ma lo stile di scrittura è un po' strano， a volte non il più piacevole， ma non così tanto da renderlo fastidioso。Nel complesso un ottimo libro， veloce da leggere e che dà tanti spunti di riflessione e cambiamento。 。。。more
Veronica
，
Presented as a dialogue between a youth and a philosopher， this book is unique and insightful。 This book also introduce us to Adlerian Psychology。 Overall， very relatable and make me embarrassed sometimes for doing what I've done。 Presented as a dialogue between a youth and a philosopher， this book is unique and insightful。 This book also introduce us to Adlerian Psychology。 Overall， very relatable and make me embarrassed sometimes for doing what I've done。 。。。more
Jordan
，
Some amazing insights can be found from reading this！ The conversations about tasks， in particular， were the most powerful and I’ve already incorporated them into my daily life。 The format of the book really allowed for an easier read。
Ayu Lestari Gusman
，
“Tak peduli apa momen yang sedang dijalani， atau apakah ada orang yang membencimu， selama kau tidak kehilangan pandangan pada bintang penuntun yang berupa ‘kontribusiku bagi orang lain’， kau tidak akan kehilangan arah dan kau dapat melakukan apa pun yang kausukai。 Entah engkau dibenci atau tidak， kau tidak memikirkannya dan hidup dengan bebas”Buku ini benar-benar menghabiskan waktuku （dalam arti baik） karena dibaca berulang-ulang untuk dapat dipahami maknanya。 Menurutku bahasanya agak rumit。
Fevrier
，
no
Sirjon
，
Bukunya Bagus untuk dibacasecara umum manusia adalah mahluk sosial yg selalu ada ，butuh orang lain maupun bantuan org lain 。dan manusia mempunyai rasa yg selalu ingin di sukai，hal ini masih sangat wajar 。tetapi menurut alder hal itu yg menjadikan sumber untuk ke tidak bahagiaan seseorang。artinya kita tidak seharus nya melakukan hal yang membuat orang lain menyukaikita sebagi mana kita melakukan sesuatu karena ingin di sukai 。karena kita melakukan sesuatu atas dasar apa yg kita inggin kan 。sudah Bukunya Bagus untuk dibacasecara umum manusia adalah mahluk sosial yg selalu ada ，butuh orang lain maupun bantuan org lain 。dan manusia mempunyai rasa yg selalu ingin di sukai，hal ini masih sangat wajar 。tetapi menurut alder hal itu yg menjadikan sumber untuk ke tidak bahagiaan seseorang。artinya kita tidak seharus nya melakukan hal yang membuat orang lain menyukaikita sebagi mana kita melakukan sesuatu karena ingin di sukai 。karena kita melakukan sesuatu atas dasar apa yg kita inggin kan 。sudah sewajar nya kita melakukan hal untuk berkontiribusi sebagai dari diri kita sendiri maupun masyarakat 。itu tugas kita sebagai individu。 。。。more
Kendra Wells
，
Yes。 Relatable & practical！ I loved learning about Adlerian psychology！
Katrin
，
Hammer！！
Vidi
，
This one！ I love it so much and would reread it again and again and again in the future。 This book really gave us new perspective about life。 It's a better version than "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" for me！ And for anxious people like me， I'd recommend it！ Try implementing the lessons in your life and you'll life happier life， REALLY。 HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT！ This one！ I love it so much and would reread it again and again and again in the future。 This book really gave us new perspective about life。 It's a better version than "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" for me！ And for anxious people like me， I'd recommend it！ Try implementing the lessons in your life and you'll life happier life， REALLY。 HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT！ 。。。more
Chanyoung
，
A book about Adlerian psychology。My North Star book。 Sometimes the dialogue sucks （the youth keeps repeating a point that the philosopher makes）， and the title has a bit of a self-help vibe， but there are some gems in this book that I have continued to think about since my first read last year。 Also。。。one of my favorite expressions ever: "The issue is not about how the world is， but about how you are。" A book about Adlerian psychology。My North Star book。 Sometimes the dialogue sucks （the youth keeps repeating a point that the philosopher makes）， and the title has a bit of a self-help vibe， but there are some gems in this book that I have continued to think about since my first read last year。 Also。。。one of my favorite expressions ever: "The issue is not about how the world is， but about how you are。" 。。。more
GONZA
，
Un piccolo riassunto sulla psicologia Adleriana scritto in forma di dialogo， come da tradizione filosofica greca。 Abbastanza interessante ma fondamentalmente indirizzato ai neofiti。
Ruchika
，
An amazing and refreshing read！ Treat life as if you are dancing。 Goals are important but the now and the journey is as important。 Live in the present movement and don't get too anxious with your target。 Make consistent efforts towards your aim but at the same time don't forget the present flow。 Of course， stop living in the past。 Life is now and it's happening。 Get rid of the great burdens of the past you have been carrying。 Release the feelings which are holding you back。 Life is simple don't An amazing and refreshing read！ Treat life as if you are dancing。 Goals are important but the now and the journey is as important。 Live in the present movement and don't get too anxious with your target。 Make consistent efforts towards your aim but at the same time don't forget the present flow。 Of course， stop living in the past。 Life is now and it's happening。 Get rid of the great burdens of the past you have been carrying。 Release the feelings which are holding you back。 Life is simple don't unnecessarily overcomplicate it。 Remember change is not painful， it is the resistance to change that is。 As long as you are living it is never too late to change directions！ Wanna live a fulfilled life？Start now！Take charge of your life。Your freedom， your responsibility。 。。。more
Lan Aidan
，
I feel like I've discovered the book I'll be rereading for the rest of my life。 I feel like I've discovered the book I'll be rereading for the rest of my life。 。。。more
ckm
，
人生就是活在當下，重要的不是擁有甚麼，而是每一瞬間的選擇。
Ashwitha Shetty
，
Have you had that moment when you are going through something？ 😅And you stumble across a right book。📚 Well， this book was for me。I could relate many of my personal struggles， understand deep within and free myself from the obstacles that I was currently facing。I had read a lot of self-help books。 Though there were many aha moments， I felt many of the concepts were similar and some I couldn't completely agree with。Also， the content was good。✅ Dialogue format was completely new to me。 I did feel b Have you had that moment when you are going through something？ 😅And you stumble across a right book。📚 Well， this book was for me。I could relate many of my personal struggles， understand deep within and free myself from the obstacles that I was currently facing。I had read a lot of self-help books。 Though there were many aha moments， I felt many of the concepts were similar and some I couldn't completely agree with。Also， the content was good。✅ Dialogue format was completely new to me。 I did feel bit draggy later on and loose my patience at tyms along the way。 I did not feel good the way the content was delivered。 Some were felt had a lack of clarity - so didn't felt make much sense。Overall， you are looking to live a happy life by freeing all the obstacles you face。。if this concept intrigues you， you should definitely give a one time read！！ Make sure to stick till the end。 Glad I did even it felt challenging 💪 。。。more
Vân Chi
，
Phù hợp cho những ai mới bắt đầu tìm hiểu triết học， tâm lý học。 Đơn giản， dễ hiểu， chỉ dẫn cụ thể về cách sống phù hợp trong cuộc đời
Christan Reksa
，
Membaca buku ini bagai pertempuran dengan kepala sendiri， dengan konsepsi-konsepsi soal psikologi， makna hidup， dan kebahagiaan yang selama ini sudah terpatri。 Mungkin memang inilah niat buku ini: untuk mengajak diri bertarung dengan ide-ide yang selama ini entah kita tidak sadari mungkin saja benar atau sudah kita tolak mentah-mentah sedari awal。 Buku tentang teori psikologi individual Adolf Adler yang ditulis duet penulis-psikolog/psikiater/filsuf jepang ini sejatinya memang bukan membicarakan Membaca buku ini bagai pertempuran dengan kepala sendiri， dengan konsepsi-konsepsi soal psikologi， makna hidup， dan kebahagiaan yang selama ini sudah terpatri。 Mungkin memang inilah niat buku ini: untuk mengajak diri bertarung dengan ide-ide yang selama ini entah kita tidak sadari mungkin saja benar atau sudah kita tolak mentah-mentah sedari awal。 Buku tentang teori psikologi individual Adolf Adler yang ditulis duet penulis-psikolog/psikiater/filsuf jepang ini sejatinya memang bukan membicarakan sebuah "fenomena Jepang" seperti keterangan di judulnya yang click-bait。 Mereka mencoba membicarakan sebuah teori psikologi yang kalah tenar （dibanding rintisan Jung dan Freud） namun sejatinya di masa kini banyak terserap di berbagai buku motivasi dan self-help。 Format diskusi Sokratik murid-guru yang ditampilkan benar-benar menarik， dan saya apresiasi; memudahkan pemahaman teori yang mungkin sejatinya tidak semudah itu mencernanya bila ditulis dengan gaya akademis dingin。 Walaupun demikian， percakapan-percakapan yang terkandung di sini kadang terdengar janggal; dan upaya sang pemuda mencoba mematahkan argumen sang filsuf terasa layak ditertawakan karena begitu lugu dan saya tidak bisa membayangkan akan mengucapkan hal serupa。 Namun mungkin memang peran seperti itulah yang dibutuhkan untuk menolong menggali pemahaman kunci soal psikologi Adlerian dari sang filsuf， yang menemukan sintesis filosofi Platonis dengan psikologi Adlerian。Ada sisi buku ini yang， walaupun tahun penerbitannya cukup baru， tidak peka terhadap penemuan terbaru soal psikologi， psikiatri， dan neurosains， terutama mengenai trauma dan pengaruh kait-kelindannya antara otak， kondisi fisik， dan cara tubuh menghadapi keseharian， juga aspek genetis serta nature-nurture。 Trauma disangkal， dan dianggap cara berpikir yang salah karena berfokus pada masa lalu dan masa depan。 Hidup dianggap teleologis， berpegang pada masa kini dengan tujuan-tujuan。 Kemarahan dan kesedihan， karena itu， dianggap bukan dipengaruhi trauma， melainkan karena memang ingin menggunakan emosi itu untuk tujuannya， dan karena itu adalah terserah kita untuk menanggapi hidup kita sampai sekarang dan berusaha hidup di sini dan sekarang。 Mungkin ini bagian yang paling susah dicerna， karena rasanya usang sekali dan penuh bau "kalimat motivator" omong kosong。 Namun demikian， membaca ini mendorong saya untuk benar-benar mengajak kepala dialog， dan untuk coba dengarkan dulu argumen yang tidak saya terima soal sisi psikologis manusia。 Sementara itu， sisi-sisi yang lebih "realistis" cukup membukakan saya soal menghadapi hari-hari dengan fokus pada sekarang。 Bahwa tidak ada gunanya terus berfokus pada overthinking soal masalah; hadapi saja dan coba perjuangkan ubah pola pikir。 Masa lalu tidak menentukan segalanya; kita berhak menghadapi masa kini dan memikirkan tujuan。 Hidup tidak akan lepas dari isu interpersonal， dan tangani dengan baik isu itu maka makna hidup dan kebahagiaan akan pelan-pelan tersingkap tanpa dipaksakan。 Poin yang ingin diangkat adalah tiga hal ini: terima diri sendiri， terima sesama， dan karena itu berkontribusilah pada sesama serta semesta tanpa berusaha menghamba kepadanya。 Bukan masalah tidak mampu， namun tidak cukup berani。 Beranilah， walau itu berarti mungkin ada yang tidak akan suka karena hidup tidak seharusnya untuk menyenangkan orang lain semata。 Inilah yang menjadi poin judul buku ini。Buku yang mudah dibaca namun menantang。 Tidak perlu setuju dengan isinya untuk menghormati poin-poin yang dibawa， yang sebenarnya relate dengan keseharian， walau dunia tak pernah sesimpel kalimat-kalimat motivasi。 。。。more
Imran Syed
，
A very very， very important book！ I will read it again and again until I get it。 If I summarize it in a sentence， it says "No excuses， you have to own it"。 I am wondering what is the point of holding it back。 If you want to live in the same way that you are currently living， then totally fine; and if you want to experiment with a change， then you are welcome too。 It's your life and you can choose the way you want to live it。 Freedom is what you want to do。 This "want" is not in the sense of foll A very very， very important book！ I will read it again and again until I get it。 If I summarize it in a sentence， it says "No excuses， you have to own it"。 I am wondering what is the point of holding it back。 If you want to live in the same way that you are currently living， then totally fine; and if you want to experiment with a change， then you are welcome too。 It's your life and you can choose the way you want to live it。 Freedom is what you want to do。 This "want" is not in the sense of following desires and impulses because that would restrict your freedom too。 Freedom is avoiding the temptation of needing recognition。 You can enjoy appreciation from other people， but you dont have to rely on it。 。。。more
Shreyas
，
They could have named this book better - it is actually a philosophical discussion about Alfred Adler's school of thought。 They could have named this book better - it is actually a philosophical discussion about Alfred Adler's school of thought。 。。。more
Sam Bayat
，
Really interesting concepts of Adlerian Psychology， all about interpersonal relationships。 Growing up O always had problems with putting myself out there and express myself， and it has been my improvement focus for the past 6 7 years。 It was great reading and delving into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and how we can change them from vertical to horizontal and accept the fact that other people’s opinions of you is their problem and not yours to solve。 It has taken years of constantl Really interesting concepts of Adlerian Psychology， all about interpersonal relationships。 Growing up O always had problems with putting myself out there and express myself， and it has been my improvement focus for the past 6 7 years。 It was great reading and delving into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and how we can change them from vertical to horizontal and accept the fact that other people’s opinions of you is their problem and not yours to solve。 It has taken years of constantly expanding my comfort zone and coming back to the work， to change some of the old patterns of habit， but I can guarantee you that it’s the best work anyone can do。 Going from reactive to proactive and from holding back yourself， your creativity and your worth， to slowly starting to putting yourself out there more。 。。。more
Manoj Saha
，
One of the best books I have come across - Alfred Adler's work on individual psychology makes it lot easier for people to find solutions and approach towards managing challenges and making sense of the world around us。 One of the best books I have come across - Alfred Adler's work on individual psychology makes it lot easier for people to find solutions and approach towards managing challenges and making sense of the world around us。 。。。more
Mahu
，
Simply transformative。 A book that challenged me in many ways and will stay with me for years to come。
Ahalya
，
My take away : 1。 Treat kids like how you treat adults when it comes to tasks - saying "Good Job" when your kids do dishes Vs "Thank You" when the adult in the house does the same chore makes kids feel inferior and limit them from progress 2。 Trauma ， depression are all self-inflicted - maybe to seek attention or as an excuse 。 Each individual has their own choice of how to take the past and either treat it as an excuse or a lesson 3。 Paying attention to kids is necessary ， but it is important n My take away : 1。 Treat kids like how you treat adults when it comes to tasks - saying "Good Job" when your kids do dishes Vs "Thank You" when the adult in the house does the same chore makes kids feel inferior and limit them from progress 2。 Trauma ， depression are all self-inflicted - maybe to seek attention or as an excuse 。 Each individual has their own choice of how to take the past and either treat it as an excuse or a lesson 3。 Paying attention to kids is necessary ， but it is important not to do the tasks for them。 。。。more
П。 Нармандах
，
Амьдрах мөч бүртээ бүжиглэ。。。。
Moya Farahyah
，
This book was recommended by a friend。 Read this in the stolen time when I was burnt out at work。 Such an easy and refreshing read。 Live for yourself， not for others because when you live for yourself， real will recognize real。
Sonya
，